Losing the Light

Stephanie De Alba, Staff Writer

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I wish we lived in a wonderland full of fairytales and perfect endings. However, that would be far from the truth; the reality is that we live in a monstrosity of a society full of horrific things and feelings which we have to experience every single day.  Have you ever thought: what if I had no feelings? Personally, I think about this a lot. For instance, if I had no feelings, I would be so strong and would never get close enough to someone to hurt me. You probably think I’m talking about relationships, but friends can break your heart too.

I see the human heart as a hole that gradually gets deeper and deeper. When you’re little, I wouldn’t even consider your heart a hole since you’re full of love and attention from your parents and loved ones. As you grow, you start to go through so much more and you become aware of things that hurt; you bury them deep inside you, making the hole deeper and deeper. You bury these things deep inside in hopes they won’t get dug up and then they do. It hurts, it hurts so bad, but you feel lost – you don’t know where to put these thoughts anymore. You even consider ignoring them, almost if these feelings aren’t there. Only to make you feel anxious, depressed, and questioning. Your heart fills with more and more thoughts, feelings, and sadness.

All of a sudden, you begin to see this light. This light is warm and inviting which makes you feel something you haven’t felt in a while: happiness. At first, you’re scared to go up to this light. All you have seen in a while is cold, frightening darkness.  This light you see makes you think: when was the last time you felt this happy? It is almost like you got a break from our cold world.  You begin to hope that this light will never go out even though deep down, you know that’s not the case. Eventually, this light will go out and you’ll feel stuck in this darkness with no way out. You’ll begin to search for this light again. In the distance, you see something dim as you approach it; you’re nervous and confused, but once you get close enough to the “light,” you realize it’s not that warm, inviting feeling you had felt before. You realize your eyes are playing tricks on you by making you imagine feelings that were never really there.

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